


The Sneak Attack Barber Job

by helens78



Category: Leverage
Genre: Character of Color, Haircuts, Humor, M/M, Non-Consensual Haircuts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-26
Updated: 2009-06-26
Packaged: 2017-10-05 07:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helens78/pseuds/helens78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliot's hair just <em>bothers</em> Parker, and it must bother Alec a little bit, too, because he becomes her accomplice in a late-night mission to give Eliot a haircut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sneak Attack Barber Job

**Author's Note:**

  * For [damned_colonial](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=damned_colonial).



> Written off-the-cuff after damned_colonial suggested "Eliot Spencer, non-con haircut" as a prompt. (That's "non-con haircut", not "non-con sex act as well as consensual haircut", by the way.)
> 
> Please avoid this story if a humorous take on someone getting an undesired haircut from his two partners (and the repercussions being minimal, as the character decides he doesn't mind it very much) would bother you!

Eliot wakes up, and there's no sensation of tickling on his nose, his cheeks. He blinks until his vision clears--and damn, that's clear. Nothing in the way, nothing trailing down over his eyes--

\--wait.

He lifts his hand up and runs it through his hair, and the trip takes all of a split-second. He's up and into the bathroom in an instant, bracing himself on the sink, staring at his reflection, trying to make sense of it.

_What the fuck. What the _fucking_ fuck. I'm going to _kill them_._

* * * Four Days Earlier * * *

"He'll kill you."

"No, he won't."

"Okay, he'll kill _me_, and to be honest? I care a hell of a lot more about me than about you, here, so--no."

Parker bats her eyelashes at Hardison, and Hardison winces. "Pleeeeease. Alec."

"No."

"It's _awful_."

"No."

"It smells funny."

"No."

"You were just complaining last week that he leaves hair on your soap."

"_N--_ well." Hardison has to think about that. Okay, Parker's not wrong. "You swear to God above that if this goes wrong, the blame's on your head and not mine?"

Parker raises the middle three fingers on her right hand and makes an X motion over her heart with her left index finger. "On my honor."

"Your what, now?"

She smacks him in the back of the head. "Yes, dummy. Just help me get the security systems down and I'll do the rest."

"Those are _my_ security systems."

"Well, then, it'll be easy."

* * * Six Hours Earlier * * *

In point of fact, all Hardison has to do is sneak out of bed and go to the study instead of staying in bed with Eliot. Parker lets herself in--Hardison has a feeling that her breaking into his place is probably quieter than him getting up to open the door, anyway--and she gives him an OK signal as she tiptoes past the open office door. She's got her usual night-vision camera on, so Hardison quickly makes apologies to the people he's been RPing with in WoW and brings up the camera monitor instead. He does load up Minesweeper to the right of it, just to have something to click while he's waiting. Old-school, sure, but he _does_ tweak the settings so he's got 99 mines on an Intermediate board. More challenging that way.

Parker's flawless, so quiet the oscilloscope at the bottom of her monitor doesn't give away anything but the ambient noise of the apartment. She gets into the bedroom--and Hardison's sure Eliot's going to notice the light changing as she opens the door and then closes it again, but no.

And then she's over next to Eliot, next to the bed, scissors in hand, and Hardison leans just a little closer to his laptop as if that'll let him see it better. The image is green and fuzzy at best, but the oscilloscope makes these tiny readings as she slowly--slowly--puts the scissors to his hair and snips.

One snip. Two. Easy. Careful. When she's got the whole back of his head, she waits there, quietly, until he grunts and whuffles and turns over, and then she gets the rest. She sneaks out the door and goes back past the office again, fist full of brown hair, grinning with glee and triumph. Hardison shoos her out the door, shuts down his laptop, and sneaks back into bed; he hopes to hell he wakes up before Eliot does.

* * * Now * * *

"You did this!" Eliot stalks into the kitchen, pointing at Hardison, face mottled red.

The haircut's not awful, but it's going to need some touch-up. Maybe they'll get Sophie to do it.

It does look pretty good, though. Hardison's got to admit: he likes it better than the long-hair look.

"Don't know what you're talking about, man," he says, sipping his cappucino. "You wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?"

"You--! _This!_ Look what--!" Eliot points at his head. "Not cool, man. _Not cool._"

Hardison looks at him, looks him head to foot, focuses on the hair again. "I like it," he says.

"Oh, fuck you."

"If you wanna." Hardison grins. "You're pretty hot when you're working yourself up into a frenzy."

"Parker," Eliot mutters. "You were in this thing with Parker. That's what it was. I'm gonna kill both of you, you know that?"

"Before or after you get to the fucking?"

Eliot buries his head in his hands for a minute, then sighs the long-suffering sigh of the damned. "After," he mumbles. "Come on back to bed."

Hardison grins at him. Win-win situation. He'll thank Parker later.

_-end-_

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Podfic: The Sneak Attack Barber Job](https://archiveofourown.org/works/689331) by [Princess2000204 (Lena204)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lena204/pseuds/Princess2000204)




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